


Breaking Away

by maktub



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 16:23:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1394296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maktub/pseuds/maktub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tragedy brings Katniss home five years after leaving everything, and everyone, behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Away

_She felt like she was drowning._

_In blue eyes and golden eyelashes and the soft caress of skin on skin._

_The way he smiled at her in bed, in the aftermath, had her heart galloping and her lungs burning for breath._

_She dreamt of the time her father taught her to swim but every time she put her head under the water she was trapped and couldn’t get out. She would watch him from below the surface, the ripples distorting his features, as he called for her to come up, to take a breath._

_Instead, she woke to the weight of another man’s arm across her body and she choked on air as she tried to suck it in._

_In the darkness of his bedroom, she watched the moonlight dance on his pale skin, traced the line of jaw, his cheek, his nose and lips, imprinting the memory of them on the pads of her fingers._

_It was later, stepping onto a train headed in any direction, that she felt the air seeping back into her lungs, filling every crevice that had so briefly been crushed by the weight of her heart._

__

Katniss’ hands shook as she pushed open the front door of the house she had grown up in. The overpowering scent of  _home_  invaded her nostrils as she stepped across the threshold.

It looked the same.

Her parents’ wedding photo hung over the fireplace in the small living room, the only thing not covered in a fine layer of dust. Prim’s straw hat hung on its hook by the front door. Buttercup growled from his spot on the rug.

She turned down the short hallway. Whimpers emanated from the crack of her mother’s bedroom door.

Really, nothing had changed.

Katniss clenched her fists. She could turn back now. She could call and say that there was a crash on the highway, or that she got called into work for an emergency… anything.

She pushed open the door, and sat down on the soft mattress beside her frail mother.

She was paler than Katniss remembered. Reaching out to touch her mother’s wrist she suppressed a shudder at the feel of it: like fine, expensive paper. Katniss feared that it would flake off into her palms.

The whimpers faded as the woman looked up, eyes furrowed at her eldest daughter, as though trying to match her to a distant memory.

“I’m here, Ma. I’m here.”

Lily Everdeen sighed, eyes crinkling in recognition, before drawing a shuddering breath and collapsing into sobs once more.

Katniss hesitated, looking down at the spot at the spot on her shirt now being soaked with tears, before reaching her arms up and placing them around her mother’s shoulders.

The soft hum of a long forgotten lullaby clawed its way up her throat and she found herself, inexplicably, singing.

_“Deep in the meadow_ __  
_Under the willow_  
 _A bed of grass_  
 _A soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head_ _  
_And close your eyes…”_ _

__

_“I love it when you sing,” Peeta grinned at her from the bed, “it reminds me of when I first fell in love with you.”_

_Katniss rolled her eyes as she continued combing her hair out._

_“No, seriously!” He climbed out of bed to move behind her._

_“The teacher asked you to sing ‘The Valley Song’, and you were wearing that red dress, and I just knew then and there that I was a sucker.”_

_Katniss looked up as he leant over her, a goofy smile plastered on his face._

_“If I kiss you now, do you promise to keep singing?”_

___

Katniss sat in The Hob nursing a warm beer.

Her mother had slept easily enough, shrouded in blankets and a haze of song.

But then Katniss had been left with an eerily silent house and no one to distract her from the reality of why she was finally home. Though she wasn’t sure that sitting in a dark booth in the back of the greasy bar was really distracting her from anything.

A throat clearing distracted her from the thrilling task of picking the label off her bottle of Blue Moon. She glanced up, ready to accept whatever welcome back the person was offering while pretending she couldn’t see the pity dripping from their skin.

The familiar mop of blond curls had her choking on her spit.

“Mind if I join you?”

At the silky timbre of Peeta Mellark’s voice she gestured dumbly at the other side of the booth. Katniss’ insides puddled as the corner of his lips turned up in some semblance of a smile.

“I’d say something cheesy like ‘what brings you here?’ but I was there when Prim died so I’m not gonna bother.”

Ouch. Katniss could feel the wind knocked out of her. Pursing her lips she turned back her previous task, barely noticing the soft ‘fuck’ leaving his lips as she did so.

“Katniss… I…”

She kept her eyes firmly on the amber bottle clenched in her fist but couldn’t help noticing his hand pushing raggedly through his hair.

“Do you want another beer? I’ll get you another beer.”

Katniss looked up at him then. His lips were pressed in a firm line as he hailed down a waitress. Peeta looked pretty much the same as in her memories. The lines of his face were sharper, more angular, his shoulders a little broader… but all the important things were there: eyelashes glinting gold in the dim light, blue eyes that managed to hold a warmth despite the hatred and pity she was sure was coursing through his blood in that moment.

He still never knew when to leave her damn well alone.

Or maybe the opposite.

The cold beers being placed in front of them halted her observations. Peeta at least had the decency to pretend he hadn’t noticed her watching.

“How’s your mother holding up? I haven’t seen Lily since…” he hesitated, “Well not since the hospital.”

Katniss’ brows furrowed as she considered her response.

“She’s the same as the last time.”

The look in Peeta’s eyes implored her to say more but she was struggling so hard not to do something stupid like cry that she couldn’t bear to open her mouth again lest she lose any final semblance of control.

Mercifully he took the reigns of the conversation, blabbering on about the happenings of the small town they’d both grown up in. For how little she cared about most of these people growing up, Katniss found herself hanging onto his every word.

Bit by bit she felt the hot flush of despair slink away from the surface and into the tiny box she’d so carefully crafted on the drive home.

Peeta, however, could not talk forever (as much as she struggled to believe it). And as the last dregs of beer slipped down her throat, Katniss could see him struggling not to talk about the topic he was so desperately trying to avoid.

“Katniss, I uhm, I just wanted to say that if you need someone to talk to…”

She startled at the feel of Peeta’s hand on hers and felt the immediate loss of its warmth as he hurriedly pulled it away. Looking up she felt her breath catch at the sight of his watery, blood-shot eyes looking anywhere but at her.

“I know Prim was… was the only person you ever, um, ever really loved and…”

Katniss reached her hands across to cover his, both in a desperate attempt to silence him and to regain, however briefly, that warm feeling as it flooded through her.

“Thank you, Peeta.”

He caught her gaze then and she sighed in relief as he nodded his understanding.

__

_Peeta’s hum against the soft skin of her thigh had Katniss trembling. She couldn’t believe they were here._

_“Is this okay?”_

_His blue eyes were bright as they peeked up at her from his spot above her most sensitive flesh._

_“Y-yeah.”_

_A loud moan escaped her as he dragged the flat of his tongue across the crotch of her panties. Katniss whined as he pulled away._

_“Good. Because Katniss, I don’t think you understand how long I’ve wanted this.”_

_Before she could respond, Peeta was tugging her panties aside and suckling on her clit._ Oh god, _she couldn’t fathom why she’d ever denied herself this man and his splendid, lovely tongue._

__

That night Katniss couldn’t sleep.

She sat on the chair in her bedroom and looked at the double bed she and Prim had once shared.

The thought of sleeping in it alone was almost as terrifying as the knowledge that in the morning she would be burying her baby sister.

Biting her lip she palmed the phone in her pocket.

Peeta had given her his number. Just in case she needed to talk. Or get out. Or anything.

And right now all of those options sounded better than pretending she was going to get any sleep tonight. But the thought of calling Peeta had her insides swelling and contracting all out of sync.

She could hear Prim’s light giggle in her ear,  _“Who knew my tough ol’ sister was scared of a boy?”_

“Fuck off, Prim.”

The only response was the shifting curtains in the breeze.

So, Katniss’ fingers fumbled as she pressed the keys to find Peeta’s number.

He was probably already asleep, and she’d look so desperate in the morning when he saw a missed call from her only an hour after they’d parted ways.

“Hello? Peeta Mellark speaking.”

“Oh, oh, Peeta. It’s me, um, Katniss?”

She heard a sharp intake of breath before a chuckle crinkled through her tinny speakers.

“Don’t hang up on me for this, but I was kind of hoping you’d call.”

Katniss pressed her cool fingers to her cheeks.

“Why?”

There was silence on the other end and Katniss checked to see her phone hadn’t cut out.

“Can I show you something?”

__

Katniss sat stiffly in Peeta’s car. It was a mistake calling him.

He sat in the driver’s seat, humming along to the late night radio station, fingers tapping at the steering wheel. If she hadn’t done it herself, Katniss wouldn’t have guessed that almost exactly five years before she’d left him in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye.

If she closed her eyes she could still feel him inside of her, could smell the sweat on his skin as he moved above her, could make out the thin blue rim against his fat, black irises as he watched her fall apart.

It had only happened the once, but the memory of it was tattooed on every inch of her.

Maybe it wasn’t the same for him. Peeta was always ‘popular with the ladies’ in high school and college. Katniss had sat in the stands at enough of his wrestling meets to know in graphic detail what other girls wanted to do with him.

A small smirk of satisfaction crossed her features.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Katniss jolted at the sound of his voice, letting out a choked laugh.

“Um, I was just wondering if I probably should have told someone my whereabouts. Because right now this is reminding me of an episode I saw of Ice Cold Killers…”

Peeta’s loud laugh caused her lips to turn up in what was most likely her first smile in a week.

“I promise I have no intention of murdering you in the woods.”

She side-eyed him, “That’s what they all say.”

Her heart stuttered at his toothy grin.

“We’re almost there.”

They drove along a dirt road for another quarter hour, and though Katniss had once known these woods well, she couldn’t place where it was they were headed.

The full moon and the swirl of the Milky Way gave them enough light to walk a short way through the trees without a flashlight. Katniss furrowed her brow as they came to a stop in a small clearing. Sensing her confusion Peeta gestured to the bushes surrounding them. 

In the moonlight, the heart-shaped petals looked more white than yellow. The clearing was filled with tufts of overflowing bushes studded with galaxies of primroses. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and Katniss hastily wiped them away.

“How did you find this place?”

Peeta shrugged his shoulders, hands firmly in the front pockets of his jeans.

“Prim took me here a couple times, said she found it while she was out picking berries. She’d always hoped to bring you here.”

Wrapping her arms around her body Katniss wondered how often Prim and Peeta had spent time together since she’d skipped town.

She could imagine Prim lying amongst the dirt, sucking blackberry juice off her stained fingers, giggling at a silly story Peeta would tell, surrounded by the spring scent of her namesake.

Looking up at him, she could see some version of that unspoken memory lingering in his gaze.  

“Thank you. Again.”

Summoned out of his thoughts, he responded with a questioning tilt of his head.

“For being there for her.” When I wasn’t. That’s what Katniss wanted to say. But Peeta seemed to hear anyway.

Stepping towards her, he reached a hand out to grasp hers, interlocking their fingers.

“She always loved you, Katniss. She was never once mad at you for leaving.”

Her eyes flickered between his, searching for any hint of untruth. But the sincerity was overwhelming. Crumpling into his chest, she finally found the strength to cry.

“I miss her.”

She felt the weight of his arms as they wrapped around her shoulders and the coo of his voice in the shell of her ear.

“I miss her, too.”

__

_Katniss shivered at the feel of Peeta’s hot breath on her ear._

_“This party is boring. Wanna ditch?”_

_She looked sceptically back at him; “Delly has been your best friend since practically birth.”_

_Peeta raised an eyebrow, “Well you’ve been my_ other _best friend since kindergarten_ and _I go to college with Delly, so I see her more often than you.”_

_Rolling her eyes at the pout playing on his lips, Katniss mumbled a ‘fine, fine’ into the air._

_“I’m choosing the movie.”_

_“Who says we’re watching a movie?” He waggled his eyebrows and she scrunched up her nose in disgust._

_“Get your mind out of the gutter, Mellark.”_

__

The drive home was as silent as the one before. But Peeta’s fingers were lightly grasping her own over the centre console. She could feel his pulse pumping leisurely at the base of his thumb and her own heart slowed to match its pace.

As they pulled into her mother’s driveway Katniss could feel the dark seed of anxiety begin to sprout in her mind.

“Peeta – ”

His fingers clenched around hers.

She took a deep breath.

“Would you mind, um, staying with me? I just…” she looked up at him then, at the light frown she was sure he didn’t know he was making, “I can’t sleep in that bed alone. I just want to sleep.”

Obviously her tone was desperate enough to shake Peeta of any indecision he might have had.

“Okay.”

They crept through the darkened house. Back when they were teenagers they would often tip toe this route on their way to and from the house at night. Mostly just to drive around in Peeta’s car. He still seemed to remember the spots on the floor to avoid so it didn’t creak.

After lending him an old t-shirt of her father’s and hastily changing, they climbed into opposite sides of the bed. For all of three seconds she lay on her back, keeping her distance from the man beside her.

But as she felt him roll onto his side, she did the same. And she tried not to sigh at the feel of his large form curling around hers, his wide chest against the narrow expanse of her back, his arm thrown across her waist, fingers curling against her open hand.

“Thank you.”

For staying. That’s what Katniss wanted to say.

Whatever his response, it was lost in the black expanse of sleep that spread across her like a blanket.

__

The sunlight glinting through the threadbare curtains roused Katniss from her dreamless sleep. She was still cocooned in Peeta’s embrace. If she could just stay here, wrapped in the warmth of him, perhaps everything would be okay.

She felt more than heard as Peeta followed her into the land of the waking – a tightening of fingers and limbs, his yawn puffing over her hair. 

Turning in her spot she looked up into his sleep crusted eyes.

“Mornin’”

He grinned as Katniss scrunched her nose at his morning breath. 

Her eyes traced the pillow creases etched into cheeks, the disgruntled, golden waves that fell across his forehead, the lopsided tilt of his lips.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay.”

“Katniss – ”

Pressing a finger to his lips she continued, “No, just… let me.”

As much as she wanted to look away, the intensity of his blue eyes on hers held her gaze steady. 

“I’ve spent five years of my life running because I was petrified of living. That night…” She stumbled, but she could still breathe, “I felt like I was giving up.” 

She grunted at the look of hurt that crossed Peeta’s features.

“No, fuck. I mean I spent more than half my life terrified of falling in love because I believed it only ended in misery and I thought that giving into everything I had been feeling for you for so,  _so_  long meant giving up my independence and all I could picture was the day you’d leave me…”

Worlds halted as she took a gasping breath.  

“You were wrong.” Katniss’ whisper hovered in the space between them.

Peeta’s voice was hoarse as he asked “About what?”

“Last night, you said that Prim was the only person I ever loved. You’re wrong.”

As his hand reached up to brush a lock of hair behind her ear, she finally managed to break his gaze.

“I loved Prim more than anyone, but now I’ve gone and lost her.”

Shifting his hand he brushed the tears from her cheeks and tilted her head to face his once more. Katniss leant into the touch. The roughness of his palms and fingertips were like home against her skin. She had missed him, everything about him.

“I can’t lose you, too, Peeta.”

His soft lips pressing against the skin of her forehead felt like a promise.

“You’ll never be rid of me, Katniss.”

__

Prim’s funeral passed in a blur.

Delly squeaked like a mouse as she sobbed into Katniss’ shoulder. Thom shook her hand with a solemn frown. Mr Mellark took her into a firm hug, assuring her she could come by the bakery anytime, while Mrs Mellark pursed her lips and apologised for the loss. Friends from school shared their fondest, funniest memories. Strangers wished they’d gotten the chance to know her better.

Rory Hawthorne hugged her so fierce she choked on a sickening, breath-taking sob.

Gale squeezed her shoulder, and his grey eyes looking into her own said more than words between them ever could.

But Peeta Mellark didn’t leave her side.

Except for when she had to read the eulogy. He’d held her gaze from the front row and she felt like maybe she’d survive this. 

__

That night they lay on a blanket in Prim’s patch of forest counting stars like they’d counted each other’s freckles as children.

Katniss’ head lay on his stomach, legs thrown out as she lay like one of the twinkling stars above. She sighed at the feel of his fingers twisting in the long strands of her dark hair that fanned out over his chest.

“Can’t you see?” She was pointing adamantly upwards, “That there’s the belt,” her finger arched across the sky, “and that’s his bow.”

Her head bobbed as Peeta chuckled.

“That’s you then, up in the sky shooting down squirrel and deer.”

She shifted onto her side, looking up the planes of his chest to the square set of his jaw and the pert tilt of his nose.

“I haven’t hunted in years,” she said, her voice small as she traced shapes in the soft cotton of his t-shirt.

“Not since before I left.”

He looked down at her then, “Where’d you go?”

“Some stupid city, with no forests and no wild deer and I worked all day and tried to convince myself it was better.”

She bit her lip and matched his stare, “But I was wrong.”

The familiar lilt of his lips made her smile, “I guess you’ve been wrong about a lot of things.”

Catching his hand in hers she replied, “Yeah. I guess I have.”

__

It was later, in the heat of summer. Katniss was hanging up the laundry in the backyard. White sheets billowed in hot winds, getting caught between her legs, wrapping around her waist.

She laughed as Peeta beat the sheets aside to reach her, his golden waves matted against his forehead. It was when he was standing in front her, drifting in and out of her vision, as the sheets remained determined to fly away. Right then.

She stood on her tiptoes, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.

It had only been his arms to comfort her, but now it was lips. And hips pressed against hips as he clutched her body against his.

Katniss felt tiny and huge all at once.

Sinking back to the ground, she gripped his fingers and dragged him through the back door and into her bedroom. Though there’d barely been a night since she returned that he wasn’t there too.

Peeta stumbled into her, grinning like a teenager, “I never thought I’d get to do this again.”

Leaning up into his ear, she said, “You’d better get used to it. You’re mine now.”  

He laughed as she pulled away, “Well now that you’ve got me, what are you going to do with me?”

“I can think of a few things.” Katniss bit her lip and walked backwards, curling her hands around the sweaty hem of her tank top and throwing it away as she fell to the bed.

The way Peeta’s eyes darkened as he followed the trail of newly exposed skin had her clenching in anticipation.

She moaned as he kissed his way up her flat stomach. Lips brushed the underside of her breasts and his tongue chased the rivulets of sweat that fell in the valley between. She keened as he suckled on the sensitive skin of her neck, and melted as he pressed sweet kisses across the underside of her jaw, her cheeks, her eyelids and finally, her lips.

His were soft and full against hers, which were dry and chapped from the sun. She could do this forever. But the feel of his tongue at the seam of her lips was too tempting. At the same moment as his tongue swiped across her bottom teeth, she gasped at the feel of his calloused hands brushing the sides of her breasts.

Katniss wrapped her legs around his waist and nipped at Peeta’s already swollen bottom lip as she tried to tug his t-shirt over his broad shoulders.

Sitting up, he tugged it over his head and tossed it away.  His eyes roamed the lines of her body and her already heaving chest. Bending forward, she gasped at the feel of his naked chest against hers and thanked god she hadn’t worn a bra that morning.

Licking her way back into his mouth, she sucked playfully on the tip of his tongue. He laughed and nipped at her earlobe before growling, “You’re an absolute menace, you know that?”   
  
Raising an eyebrow she replied, “Well what’re you gonna do about it, Mellark?”

He groaned, “You’re killing me, Katniss.”

Before she had the chance to respond he’d swiped his tongue across the pert bud of her nipple. She grasped his head between her hands as he enclosed his mouth around it and bit down gently. His hand reached up to pinch the other between his thumb and forefinger and she found herself unable to control the moans as they tumbled out of her mouth.

“Peeta!”

He kissed his way back down her stomach, unbuttoning her shorts as went. “I’m a bit preoccupied, call back later.”

She laughed, “I hate you.”

Grinning up at her cheekily he said, “That’s a shame, guess I’d better leave then.”

“No! Stay!” His fingers tugged at her panties, “Oh god, Peeta, stay forever.”

One thick finger swiped through her slit and found purchase on her clit, rubbing in lazy circles. She writhed beneath him, trying to increase the pressure.

“Patience, grasshopper.”

“Fuck, you are the wor – Oh!”

His tongue flicked across her clit, quickly followed by a sharp suck. The feel of one finger pressing into her had her melting into the bed. Adding a second, he pumped his fingers slowly even as he brought her to the brink with his mouth.

It was his eyes catching hers that had her falling over the edge, high pitched gasps filling the quiet room. He climbed back over her and despite everything his face was serious.

Peeta pushed back the sweaty hair from her face and he pressed his lips against hers before standing to tug his shorts down his legs and grab a condom from his wallet.

His cock bobbing against his stomach had Katniss biting her lip in anticipation. Soon he was back between her thighs, cock slipping between folds but nothing more. Looking up, she could see the hesitation in Peeta’s face as he looked down to where they would soon be joined.

“Hey,” she said, voice soft, “look at me.”

The blue of his eyes still managed to take her breath away.

“I’m here now, I’ll always be here.”

Even as he pushed into her she held his gaze. Her fingers sought his and gripped tight at the feeling of fullness. They moved slowly against each other, hips undulating, limbs sliding. Katniss’ legs wrapped around his waist. Peeta’s biceps shook as he held himself above her. But they refused to look away.

She could see the pleasure building as his irises dilated. She wanted to smooth the frown on his forehead as he tried to hold himself back. She lent up to kiss the corner of his mouth, to whisper in his ear, “Let go, Peeta.”

He pulled back onto his knees, gripping her hips as he thrust in and out of her. She felt every part of her tightening as the pressure spread from the spot where they were joined. Growling, he brought a thumb to her clit and circled it roughly.

Katniss threw an arm over her face and screamed into the crook of her elbow as she came. The feeling of Peeta pulsing inside of her was exquisite.

He fell down beside her, both sweaty and spent, legs still tangled, grey eyes looking into blue.

“When I first saw you back, I didn’t think it was real. I’d kept hoping but figured you’d found a better life somewhere far away. And I couldn’t really blame you.”

Peeta’s voice was hoarse but insistent, so Katniss stayed quiet.

“At first I wanted to be angry at you, but you are the only woman I’ve ever loved,” he brought her fingers to his lips and kissed the tips. His gaze was soft as he continued and Katniss knew that despite their losses things could be good again.

“And now I know that you love me, too. Real, or not real?”

  
“Real.”  
 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Jessa for PiP and for encouraging me to write something in the first place.


End file.
